The practice of being responsible to what is going on internally on an individual level can make an impact in our work lives. It may improve self-regard, strengthen interpersonal interactions, and change how professionals show up in an organization.
To gain a clearer mind, get to a balanced view based in reality, and become aware of impediments to communication focus on three areas: Self-Talk, Stories, and Internal Emotion.
Self -Talk: What type of voice is the dialogue in your mind? Is it one that accepts, and is on your side? Perhaps, it is the common judgmental, harsh, or critical voice.
Own this self-talk style by being curious over time and in repeat situations. What words and tone do you use internally? As you notice a pattern try out a new dialogue around a familiar theme. For example, go from “I did not say that right. My timing should have been better. I blew it” to “That was a tough conversation. Even though I stumbled through it I am glad I did it.”
Stories: When there is not context around a scenario naturally the mind wants to make sense of what is going on. This leads to making up stories to fill in what is missing and a false view of reality.
Be responsible for what you tell yourself. Ask if you have all the facts or talked directly to the people involved. If not, then humbly consider you may have added in extra background to your mental picture. Clear your mind of what you do not know and figure out who to engage in to get the information you need.
Internal Emotion: Emotion and subconscious internal responses are always being registered in the mind. At times they may be difficult to recognize. Some might derail a conversation or get in the way of creativity.
Learn to recognize and hold these internal emotions as your own. Look for the physical clues: a headache, butterflies in the stomach, or overexcitement. Name the actual feeling with a specific descriptor. With practice it may become easier to see when a response is starting and to make a healthy decision around it sooner or be aware you are carrying these with you into the next collaboration.
Awareness with responsibility to the internal experiences described above can set professionals up to influence and engage in a more significant and impactful way.