Take Responsibility: Own Your Internal Response

The practice of being responsible to what is going on internally on an individual level can make an impact in our work lives. It may improve self-regard, strengthen interpersonal interactions, and change how professionals show up in an organization.

To gain a clearer mind, get to a balanced view based in reality, and become aware of impediments to communication focus on three areas: Self-Talk, Stories, and Internal Emotion.

Self -Talk: What type of voice is the dialogue in your mind? Is it one that accepts, and is on your side? Perhaps, it is the common judgmental, harsh, or critical voice.

Own this self-talk style by being curious over time and in repeat situations. What words and tone do you use internally? As you notice a pattern try out a new dialogue around a familiar theme. For example, go from “I did not say that right. My timing should have been better. I blew it” to “That was a tough conversation. Even though I stumbled through it I am glad I did it.”

Stories: When there is not context around a scenario naturally the mind wants to make sense of what is going on. This leads to making up stories to fill in what is missing and a false view of reality.

Be responsible for what you tell yourself. Ask if you have all the facts or talked directly to the people involved. If not, then humbly consider you may have added in extra background to your mental picture. Clear your mind of what you do not know and figure out who to engage in to get the information you need.

Internal Emotion: Emotion and subconscious internal responses are always being registered in the mind. At times they may be difficult to recognize. Some might derail a conversation or get in the way of creativity.  

Learn to recognize and hold these internal emotions as your own. Look for the physical clues: a headache, butterflies in the stomach, or overexcitement. Name the actual feeling with a specific descriptor. With practice it may become easier to see when a response is starting and to make a healthy decision around it sooner or be aware you are carrying these with you into the next collaboration.

Awareness with responsibility to the internal experiences described above can set professionals up to influence and engage in a more significant and impactful way.  

Adaptable and aligned: Rise to the challenge of changing business needs

Ever have a time when stressors are throwing you or the team curve balls: staff changes shift dynamics, unusual client requests, or unexpected external emergencies? What if you could find opportunities in these circumstances? Imagine a way to capture the momentum of relational waves, be creative in business continuity, and build trust in a difficult conversation. Adaptable leaders and influencers modify to best meet these needs and prepare for new possibilities to the benefit of employees and the company.

It may be tempting to apply a generic solution or try to double down on control. However, remind yourself that each group or situation is made up of individuals. This means a different type of personality, skill set, or motivation is behind each. To increase the ability to connect, inspire, and rise to the occasion it is important to adapt. This is not to say be overly malleable. Instead maintain boundaries by considering the mission and vision. Use company values as a guide.

Five ways to practice adaptability:

·       Learn to build on what works well. Reflect on instances of success. What did it take to achieve that positive result? Then share it.

·       Balance business necessities with support that fits the situation. Show up with empathy.  Be open to what can come of the conversation. It may hold the solution you are looking for.

·       Ask for and try out input. Use collaboration to stoke the embers of creativity.

·       Change the conversation style depending on who you are talking to. Consider that the other person may take in information best in a different format.

·       Be the one that is flexible (within the structure of alignment with the company mission and vision). Lean into being uncomfortable to encourage a better outcome.

Making adaptability the norm may have a significant impact on how we rise to meet business challenges. You can adjust to a situation to increase the likelihood of experiencing greater benefits.

Keep coming together: Avoid splintered communication during Q4

It is normal for the fourth quarter push to move us away from optimal team communication. Instead of whole group connection there may be a tendency to splinter off into pairs or for a peer to go it alone.

Splintered communication can be guised as time savers, encouragement, and well-intentioned co-workers. The signs initially may look like the following common scenarios.

·       Employees act like they are on the television show Survivor in the midst of a special challenge. There are only the sound clips of individuals or pairs “Hold on just a bit longer,” “Keep climbing,” and “Go faster.”

·       Assumptions are made by one or a few on yet to be clarified items of significance. They “know” already how each member will respond or why a specific challenge or success materializes.

·       Disconnection shows-up in the decrease of group energy toward the same vision. Individual agendas are shoe-horned in and the original focus is cloudy.

To move closer to a return of group communication engage with the team lead or project champion. Follow the four guidelines below to stay on track.

1.       Express the feeling.

2.       Describe the experience.

3.       Name the cost.

4.       Make it happen.

For example, “I felt disconnected when I delivered a product that was not what the team expected. It is disconcerting to have a miss in clarity and loss of valuable time during the fourth quarter. However, I am excited to see what our shared vision could look like again if we re-engage in our group conversations. How does Tuesdays at 9:00AM on a virtual call sound?”

Take the lead: Meet others where they are at

In the workplace we bring our own story and influence to a conversation. However, the dialogue may need more humility and less rushing in with our own agenda.

How would it be to meet the other person where they are at? Figuratively we would step toward our colleagues to better understand and get the most out of the situation for both of our benefits.

Many of us probably remember an interaction when the words being spoken indicated a strong result. However, the tone and sound gave away the façade of a hollow performance.

Initially, the person we are speaking with may not be able convey key information or what they need. It might be up to us to open the conversation to gain mutual respect, validate, and identify the other persons reality.

Try the three steps below to maintain professionalism and influence with compassion, curiosity, and open dialogue.

1.       Stay open to adjustment. Be compassionate with yourself and others if there is a temporary change in the conversation. Recalibration may be required to get to the valuable parts.

2.       Be in the here and now. Stay curious with the interaction. Be especially aware in virtual settings. We are savvy human beings that can tell when attention goes away from the conversation.

3.       Ask for more. Open the dialogue to specifics or examples. This can bring engagement needed for the talk to thrive.

Going beyond, “You are doing fine.”

At times it seems to me our peers, direct reports, and leaders that do well receive the verbal equivalent of the thumbs up. “You are doing fine. Keep up the good work.”

Even talented team members that give their all need clarity, motivation, or expectations reaffirmed. It is possible that satisfaction with the individual or communication on what is going right may not be coming through.

It only takes a few minutes to go beyond a brief verbal nod. As each person is motivated and sees their contributions differently adding a few personalized details to the conversation might have a big impact.

Simply state two to three areas where the individual is an asset such as project leadership, or team communication. Then make it specific by referencing a project success, or unique skill set. Finally, link this to the big picture. How does their outstanding performance help the business on a large scale?

What strikes me in these conversations is how the value and positive response of the individual is multiplied to all involved.

While Curiosity Killed the Proverbial Cat it Keeps the Professional C.A.T. Alive.

Being curious can increase communication, accountability, and trust (C.A.T.) at work.

Multiple virtual meetings a day may feel like over communication. After all, look at the increase in interaction. However, stay curious. Ask yourself did clear expectations just get communicated? Did the true intent come through clearly? Querying the group in an inquisitive manner may open the door to beneficial communication. This type of communication results in a dialogue, creativity, or true connection.

When there is confusion in processes or goals fall short, bring in curiosity again. Who is accountable and what support system is in place? Do you or team members point out when goals are being met and there is consistency in results? Imagine the energy saved as employees develop a sense of responsibility and encourage each other based on pre-determined accountability plans.

Per Patrick Lencioni, “members of a truly cohesive team must trust one another” (2012, p. 27). Start to build trust by approaching co-workers with curiosity first. Find out where the other person is coming from and what is of value to them. There may be different routes to reach the finish line. Hopefully, you all are working toward the same outcome. If not, open curious questions could lead to clarity resulting in increased trust.

Is the C.A.T. in full roar at your workplace? Stay curious. Ask from a humble place, what more could be done? What role may I play? Who else do I need to be curious with?

Reference

Lencioni, P. (2012) The advantage: Why organizational health trumps everything else in business. Jossey-Bass.

Predictors of Future Success: Give 2020 Goals a Boost

Just as we create the outcome of new plant growth with healthy soil, water and sun the same idea can be applied to our professional goals for 2020. This concept of influencing the likelihood of results through intentional pre-planned actions is also known as lead measures.

Increase the probability of reaching your New Year’s goals by focusing on what can generate the desired growth you are looking for. I find it helps me to work backwards from the goal to discover what lead measure is needed to open the door to each next step.

Questions to get started:

·      What two actions will positively influence the goal I want to accomplish?

·      Who might I need to partner with or gain buy-in from to take these steps?

Set the Stage for 2020 by Acknowledging 2019

With all the goals for 2020 swirling around it is easy to be distracted from all the hard work, wins, and learned experiences this past year. I am drawn to take a few minutes to acknowledge 2019 in the workplace.

Reflections:

·      What accomplishment are you most proud of?

·      What did not turn out how you thought it would?

·      Where did you grow the most?

·   What can you say, “Thank you!” for?

The gratitude and impact of this dialogue can be a meaningful way to set the stage for 2020. I challenge you to fully take in the past year and have this conversation with peers, direct reports, and yourself.